Friday, October 5, 2012

Smartphone Apps You'd Rather Your Kids Not Find


One of the most useful devices ever created has to be the smartphone. Not only do the iPod, iPhone and Android make calls and store phone numbers, they have so many applications available that you never realized you needed. If you can imagine it-budgeting, coupon-ing, recipes, grocery store reminders-to quote the commercial, “There's an app for that.” However, 'there's an app for that' isn't always a good thing. There are several apps I can think of that serve no purpose other than annoying everyone else in the room and making you wonder what the developers were smoking when they released them to the public. Even if we find them hilarious, you still might not want your kids to use them.

Since there are so many annoying and stupid apps that are of an 'adult' nature, I'm only going to cover the innocuous ones. This list might be short as a result, but you'll still thank me later.

First, there's Talking Carl. This app features an annoying cartoon voice that can repeat everything you say. This is cute for about five minutes, but then can get annoying. Remember how irritating it was when your sister did that to you when she was five? It's like a digital version of that, only this time won't get in trouble for smacking it on top of the head.

Then there's iFart, which makes an obnoxious bodily-function noise every time someone picks up the phone. Pull My Finger does much the same thing, only it goes off when you 'pull' the finger on the screen. For the 'creative' types, there's Rate a Fart that hosts a library of over 700 fart sounds that someone can listen to and 'rate' on a scale of 1 to 5. It also allows people to record their own farts and submit them for 'rating'. These are things men and boys the world over will love but, if you're not into bathroom humor, you'll probably hate it.

Another 'fun' app along the 'adolescent-bathroom-humor' line is Poop the World, which basically allows you to broadcast every 'movement' to the world and even compare with other users. My husband would find it funny, but I find it disgusting. Most other women I know do too.

Annoyance is an app that supplies all kinds of annoying noises. While I think it's hilarious to have people in the office wondering where that 'nails on the blackboard' noise is coming from, it's not so funny when your two-year-old plays with it on a car trip. I learned this the hard way.

There are also several 'soundboard' applications that allow users to play various sounds from a specific theme by pushing buttons. By 'themes', I mean quotes from the Simpsons or noises from the Mario games. Those are funny for a while, especially the Simpsons. I personally love a good Homer-and-Bart fight, and Lisa is the eight-year-old version of me. However, I don't know if you could stomach listening to them. It's up to you, but some parents would get annoyed rather quickly.

So, there you have it. A short list of applications that you'd rather your kids not find or use on smartphones. Like I said, there are quite a few others out there that are definitely not appropriate for kids. You can thank your lucky stars your kids are playing with annoying apps rather than X-rated ones, but you'll still probably want to take the phone away soon. Have fun!

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